The past few months I've felt lost in a quiet bus. The world passes me in a soundless blurr and I cannot reach its flashing strokes, cannot touch its painted chaos.
In the bus I find no adventure. To stop it and join the busy, purposeful paradigm I glimpse but cannot touch would be ideal and is my only longing.
"It wasn't so much changing the world but becoming a part of it that drove my ambitions," says some unknown Kindred. How I wish to step into the sun that college vainly promised me--or that I had imagined it to promise me.
"Next year, next year.." the spirit whispers. I know I must be grateful. Grateful for a together family, for my beloved boy, for all my needs so close, convenient, easy.
But that's just the source of discontent. I crave a cause, a challenge, and a red suit.
"Patience, patience.." says he once more. All you have is all you need. Moreover, all you have is all you really want.
NO! I'd like a black jetta too. And I wish to, at the end of the day, find satisfaction in all my endeavors.
The bus will stop. Meanwhile, enjoy the ride I must, and the wondrous impression of speed.
1 comment:
Jacque, you will find your time, the bus will stop and the world will stand in amazement at who steps off. You still have things to learn on the bus ride. Some are hard, others easier. You have much to look forward to. Remember you are here, in the now. Use it and be the best you can be, even when you feel your lowest. Get out of your rut and change something.
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