There's Just Something..

This weekend I went home and home's beauty embraced me with smells of lasagna and candles and apple cidar. On the green velvet sofa, and the pearls of memories embedded in its folds, I slept and found great comfort.
In the marvelous tub, among white morning air and light, I found the solace of old, while casting projections of the past from mind to marble floor. And after that reflective dip I dressed and slipped out of doors to greet great hours and thank the earth for her autumn bounty.
Mom and I bounded about twisting, crispy sidewalks, filling our pockets with horse chestnuts and exchanging thoughts and flashes of the future--usually a favorite subject of mine. But the morning was better than imagination, and the day better than day dreams, and my heart happier than it could wish to be. There's something about going home...There's something about a turn of earth and growing up and remembering what's truly good. There's just something about being alive...
There's just something...

Rome

I guess I belong in Rome.

Thoughtful Thursdays

Today was a Thoughtful Thursday. Thursday's are my restorative days. My alone days. Having lived an unmagical Wednesday, I felt to really make this day matter, to put my all into it. Traditionally I will go to the temple on these days but circumstances prevented it this morning. Other than that minor mishap everything went splendidly. I went to yoga, deep cleaned my room, did laundry, drank water, and wore something quirky but classic. In the afternoon I gathered a blanket and books and headed to the nearby duck pond for some time with nature and light and great minds. I wrote, I thought, I cried out of gratitude. And this great invisible cloud of peace came over me and the spirit truly spoke to me in its quiet ways. In the evening I took a rose petal bath and counted my blessings, for surely there were some to count!

Cheers to Thoughtful Thursdays!

Happy

Honestly I think about love a lot. It's all that matters to me. And love reminds me of Marc because he embodied its meaning perfectly. I think relationships are supposed to symbolize heaven so that when they are not used reverently they mean hell.
So I was just thinking about Marc yesterday when an Oprah Winfrey quote came to mind: "put yourself in the best moment for the next." In May that moment would have been to take a picture together and relish romance and friendship. Today I think it would be to learn how to be happy no matter the circumstances so that when we come back together we've acquired stable auras of unalterable happiness.
In the past Marc and I would switch off roles--one of us would be excited and ecstatic about life and the other would be sober and sad. It was the happy one's job to push the other into happiness. Now I entertain the possibility of two very independently happy people who bring their joy together for a great purpose. Can you imagine the energy? Can you imagine what they could do for the world? They'd be an unbeatable team.
That's what I want for Marc and I. That's what I'm striving to be for us.
Happy.

Old Visions Remembered

I was born to be a queen. To speak out. To change things. When I play it small I feel in hell. That's because I've a responsibility for the world. A responsibility to help heal it.

There are people to serve, words to speak, places to go, and lessons to learn.

What do I see?

many people. elephants. maps. plans. kindness. generosity. Africa. wide eyes. white smiles. water. speaking. school. education. taking pictures. inspiring nations. all with love. devotion. books. brilliance.
learning. reaching. ever reaching.

I hold a vision like a ball of light in the center of my brain. And it rolls around so I see blurs of it. Education matters. Education grants opportunity and education brings change. Africa matters but it has been forgotten. I care about Africa. I've discovered that. Hmm...I feel peaceful with this discovery, hopeful, on the verge of something. Something great.

Fairy Tale Fancy

One word: STARDUST. My newly beloved film! UH HUH! Perhaps it received some bad reviews but according to me it was absolutely wonderful. Isn't it amazing that fairytales often feel more real than say, historical fiction? I'm still rejoicing in the light I felt for a couple short hours. See it and we'll talk!

On Being One's Self

Last night I began I Capture the Castle, by Dodie Smith. Never before have I read a book that puts into words the very thoughts I've thought myself, a book that relates to me so nearly and dearly, a book that makes me jump and laugh and dream. I felt elated by finding company in related thought and feeling. As she bathed I did, though she ate chocolate and I raspberries. As she wrote I desired to write. As she reveled in wondering for hours, I wanted more than anything to be even more myself. Am I alone in feeling sometimes as if being oneself is not acceptable? Well today I want to be who I am. Today I want to write and glow . Here's to authenticity!