The Deepest Desire of My Heart

In the past I've often asked friends, who've in turn asked me, "what is the deepest desire of your heart?" I've always given it a go. But I didn't really know. Until yesterday when, it hit me like a ton of bricks that tears almost fell out of me from the force.

The deepest desire of my heart is to partake of the fruit, to dwell in celestial love, to love so fully and widely that it fills me up and the seed in my heart sprouts into a tree of life in and of itself. It's this desire to live in love, in only love. For love is limitless, love is fearless, the fruit of love is everthing good. I want to love.

Love is the deepest desire of my heart.

Allelujah!

There are days when, walking through the pollutions, I fathom an aura of white light around my figure. It protects my inner realms, keeps me bright within, as without might be prone to dull.

The street is gray and bare but then I come in white light and this light makes sidewalks, caked with dirty snow, holy traffics, divine paths. And in this light I grow, am nourished, and find a goddess self. Glimpses of this goddess self inspire me to walk on, "until the perfect day." Allelujah! ha!

All We are Meant to Be

Okay--I feel compelled to stay and grow friendships here in beloved Salt Lake. Westminster reveals herself to me in all her glories and quarks; I'm a connisoeur of her gifts and diverse offerings. So now that I begin to joy in her, I must pursue a true rapport.

So Ali (and Chloe), given this news, we must conjure up a day dream of next year's little cottage. I for one cast a vote for stark white walls. Anything else is not a blank enough slate. We must spend the summer collecting shabby chic-like stools and pillows and maybe a sofa or two over-stuffed chairs. White cotton slip covers and gorgeous clips of flowers will smile up the ambiance. Indeed, flowers, as we've invariably agreed, must be part of the monthly budget.

White sheets, fluffy white towels, books, art, our collages--these beauties will surround us and feed us and define us. It will provide us with room to grow, to cry, and to bloom. Oh! It will be our little temple cottage, for in it we will surely find ourselves--all we are meant to be.

Child-like Enthusiasm

Ali--I think I'm going to always collect little elephants! Thank you for thinking of me.

This week has definitely been a week of identifying art and romance in ordinary things. I bought three white tulips on my walk home from school, looked up at the sky and noticed the telephone wires looked patterned and interestingly angled. I noticed little balls of water clinging to a shampoo bottle--they looked desperate to remain whole.

The velvet green cushions I see every day look magical in a certain time of sun. Light changes mere objects into beauties. I find myself aweing over dish soap in afternoon dazzle, blue glasses among a multiplicty of fire fairies.

The water in the tub seems black and white marble to me--it seals me in its stillness. Its swirls seem permanent, ancient even. I sit among stone.

The world is not what it seems. Far from it. Enchantment makes her up--she is the stuff of God so that even deserts and smog speak of some kind of genius.

Finding Place

It feels my world is falling into a graceful melody. How deep and straight my path feels. Yes. I can feel her. The woman I am underneath fear and loss and greed. In love she means peace and in peace she means gratitude and in gratitude she means generosity and in generosity she means freedom--freedom to do good in the earth.

With Ali I embark on my first real adventure: Washington D.C. all alone. I'm thrilled! There we campaign for the peace we long for, for the peace we celebrate.

School grows daily in its charms. Photography, art, anthropology and English increasingly delight my intellectual tastebuds and feed my mind, pump my blood.

I've been called to be Gospel Doctrine teacher. Yes! Public Speaking tickles me absolutely pink. And I thorougly enjoy teaching truth, guiding great conversations, asking the magical questions, feeding spiritual minds.

Everything makes more sense this month.

It feels I'm finaly finding place.